


I Refuse To Go Deeper (I Choose To Go Blind)

by joidianne4eva



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen’s never told anyone but sometimes at night, when whatever rat hole they’ve found themselves in is quiet, he watches them</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Refuse To Go Deeper (I Choose To Go Blind)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to cougars_catnip for the read through and beta!

Jensen’s never told anyone but sometimes at night, when whatever rat hole they’ve found themselves in is quiet, he watches them. Not in the creepy ‘every breath you take’ kind of way but he watches them to make sure that they’re all there, to reassure himself that the things lurking in his nightmares are just a product of his own twisted imagination.

He usually starts with Clay, not because of the man’s rank but because Clay reminds him of his mother sometimes, so damn fearless that Jensen wonders if he cares anymore, if maybe every time the Colonel slips off with a strange woman he just doesn’t plan on coming back. The thought of Clay giving up and throwing his life away makes Jensen’s head hurt so he usually pushes it aside and removes any alcohol that the man has brought back with him, making sure that Clay’s lady friend of the night hasn’t set some sort of demented booby trap while he’s at it, because you never know with the women that Clay attracts, before moving on.

Next he goes to Pooch, who is usually sleeping curled around his single picture of Jolene and Jensen watches the way that the man’s fingers sweep across the photo’s battered surface with a small smile. If Pooch is the team’s anchor then Jolene is the iron that's wrapped around his frame that keeps him steady and Jensen is glad that the man has her.

Roque is tricky to navigate around, the big man sleeps so lightly that even the hint of a sound would bring him rearing awake but Jensen has learned to tread carefully and he slips into Roque’s space without any trouble, shifting the knives that Roque always forgets until they are close enough for the man to reach when he wakes. There’s a story behind that but Roque has never told any of them why when he wakes he spends the first few seconds with his fingers curled tightly around the hilt of his favourite blade and no one has asked…yet.

Jensen always leaves Cougar for last, mainly because Cougar is the hardest to find when they choose to sleep but partially because he is usually the one on watch duty if they’re not on down time.

This time Cougar was perched in the corner of their safe house, his dark clothing making him just another shadow in the dark of the room but Jensen could find Cougar when blindfolded and sick so he has no trouble picking his way across the room avoiding the squeaky boarding until he reaches the sniper’s side.

Cougar cocks his head as Jensen settles beside him “Done?” he questions and Jensen nods in response, stretching his legs out in front of him and breathing in the rightness of the night. This is the other reason why he goes to Cougar last because Cougar understands why Jensen wakes himself in the dead of the night with the tendrils of the horrors they had witnessed chasing him into the waking world. Cougar understands because Jensen has never _tried_ to hide anything from him, not that he could.

The feel of fingers in his hair makes Jensen release the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, echoing the breathing of the man beside him until he was able to lull himself to sleep with the knowledge that his team was safe and he was right where he wanted to be.


End file.
